It's been decided

I'm officially on the path to me.
It wasn't an easy decision, but it did end up being more of a mutual decision.
I'm ok with it.
Yes, I'm planning a pity party, but I'm alright.
*The pity party is more because I'm 27 and will be 2x's divorced.

But I'm using this time to work on me. And right now, that works.
I still have to come up with a WORKING budget, figure out where we are going to live, and all that those tasks entail, but I can do it.

I'm lucky and have parents who love me and are allowing me to stay with them.
*Unfortunately, I work the opposite shift of those who also work in the house that I'm staying, but it is only for the short time.

My Own Worst Enemy

So many times things are going swimmingly, and then they all get messed up. It always surprises me how one action, no matter how big or small, can have such an impact on everything else.
It goes to show have everything is important.
I give myself a lot of added stress and worries. I'm trying to make an effort to change that. To live a little more day by day, and to stop worrying about what's next.

I really have no clue what path I'm on or where the nearest exit is.
It's hard to think about what is going to bring the maximum happiness in the long run.
I know what is the easiest choice, especially in the short term. But what about long term?
What do I really need and want in order to achieve maximum happiness potential?

What does a relationship need to survive?
The easy answer for me is love and commitment.
But is it enough?
What about faith, trust, and common interests?

It is a lot to think about and there is no clear answer and the answer is not the same for everyone.

For the First Time

I'm actually signing up to go do things that interest me.
I've sent in my registration form for a Women's Day of Renewal at a local church.
One of the workshops completely summed up how I feel in social situations.
I feel like the odd woman out a lot. I get very self conscious and think people won't like me, that they are talking about me, or I just don't measure up.
This is something I want to change. I know I am a very likeable person and that I have a lot to offer in terms of a friendship.
So I really hope I can get in on that one. Other workshops include feeling overwhelmed, how to use your head, how to talk to pre-teens/teens, etc.
I'm really excited about this weekend workshop.
I'm also going to sign up for a small group study on Lutheranism 101 at my church.

All of these things are things that I thought sounded interesting, but never had the cajones or didn't make a priority.
I'm very excited to finally be doing these things.

Time for Me

This is a time for me, a place for me.
I've long neglected myself.
I decided enough was enough.
That I NEED for me to be first in my life.
That happiness can not come from making others happy, by taking care of others.

So it is time to take care of myself, live for myself, make myself happy.