So, I'm using this as a sounding board/place to get it out.
I'm beginning to wonder if I have a form of social anxiety. For as much as I want to be part of a group, I beat myself up after social interactions. I fear that people think negatively of me. For example, I introduced myself to someone my husband works with today. Just a brief hi, I'm me, im married to him. And all night I've worried that I came off like an idiot.
It really sucks. I want to make friends in this new place, but I feel like I'm always holding a part of myself back. I'm just waiting for the rejection to occur. To be deemed unworthy of friendship.
It really feels like a vicious cycle. I want to meet people, I meet people, I stress out that said people hate me for some character flaw I have.
And the sad part is I know a lot of it is ridiculous. I know I'm a friendly person. I know that people like me.
Thanks for reading, just needed to get it out.
