Finding Your Tribe

Tonight, while in bed and reflecting on the days events, it really hit me that I have found members of my tribe. No, it isn't some special club, just a special connection with specific people.
It is my experience, that you will meet people you just click with. People who you feel absolutely comfortable around and have no issues exposing those "quirks" you have.
I have a lot of quirks.
One of my quirks is anxiety that tends to make me withdraw from people before I get the chance to really know them.
So, when I find tribe members that I can get past my anxiety with and truly let ME shine, I embrace those people and those relationships.

Tonight, I did something for me. I have been feeling the pull to dance/be creative lately. I had a unique opportunity as a client reminded me earlier this week of Sauna Tap happening at one of the local dance studios. I am so glad that I went tonight. It felt good to move. It felt good to connect my energy to my creative side. It just so happens the class is taught by a beautiful soul that I consider part of my tribe.
The almost comical part of tonight was that the class tonight had a relaxation aspect to it, not just cardio.
SO, I got to do a guided meditation as part of the class too.

I'm getting sidetracked, but not too far. The point is, you can find members of your tribe anywhere you go. Sometimes the most chance encounter can lead to some of the most beautiful relationships.

Sometimes the members of your tribe are only meant to pop in for a short time. Others, they pop in and end up sticking with you through longer than you could imagine.

I have a group of "internet friends" I met over 10 years ago when planning my wedding (to my ex-husband). I have met some of them in person, some I have never met. But, we have stuck together and gone through life together. During our journey, there have been times I don't know what I would have done without them. They helped support me during some of the hardest moments of my life. They have laughed with me over the crazy antics of my kids. They have celebrated the small victories.

I have friends from high school that I don't see frequently. Lord help you if you are around when we get together though. We tend to be a loud bunch and we talk and laugh a lot.

I have a great friend that I met in school for massage therapy. A chance encounter that brought another member to my tribe.

Chances are, you have more tribe members than you really realize.
As I approach the 2nd anniversary of my father's death, I appreciate these relationships even more. Tell people you love and appreciate them. Sometimes they don't realize the impact a small action may have.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for following along of this journey.
Love and light to you on this summer solstice.

Finding the Message in Everyday

The Lord works in mysterious ways. 

Most mornings, I can be found driving my oldest to Driver's Ed (hush, I don't want to talk about it.). If you've ever been in the car with us, music is a constant. Heck, music is a constant in my life period.

Music also brings about some of the strongest emotions for me. I like when I can sing along, so I am constantly switching stations. 

But, let us talk about this morning with a brief mention of yesterday's sermon. Yesterday's sermon was all about living a Christ-centered life, not just a Christian life. Today, during my drive back to my office, I heard Rascal Flatts "Love You Out Loud" and MAN did the lyrics hit me in the feels. 

All the GOOD feels. The feels that remind me God has put me here for HIS PURPOSE. 

Lately, I have been feeling a call to something bigger than me. I'm still not sure what the end result is, but when I have these moments of "Ah Ha!", I'm not ignoring them. So let us break down some of this song as it pertains to the message I heard and what I feel I need to share. 

I have always been a little shy


I've always been the quiet type till now


And I never let my feelings show
I never let anybody know
Just how much I was so deep in love

I am not know for being extremely vocal about my faith. I tend to try to not stand out as I have anxiety that is fueled partially by social situations. I live in fear at times that people don't like me, that I'm saying stupid things, that in general I don't measure up to some invisible bar.  I have been working SO HARD lately on quieting that voice, of accepting MYSELF as I AM. God made me this way for a reason. I recently started attending a new church for convenience reasons. It is less than 5 miles from my house, the service times work for my schedule, and the music speaks to me. I find myself wanting to raise my hands in worship to His holy name because I am not worthy of the love and sacrifice that was made for a poor sinner like me. But MAN, is it amazing how loving and forgiving our Lord is. 

You keep bringing out the free in me 


What you do to my heart just makes me melt 


And I don't think I can resist




I am finding a new freedom as I embrace my faith more and more. By keeping the focus on God, I have been able to leave behind some of the luggage that weighs me down on a day to day. Experiencing God's love and opening my heart to the fullness that I have found there is awe-inspiring. So often, I have found that I try to resist what God is trying to do in my life. It is in the moments that I give up the driver's seat where I am able to find peace. I'm tired of fighting a fight that is USELESS. One of my daily prayers has been for God to help me make the right decisions to stay and/or find the path HE wants me on. Not the path I'm trying to forge for myself. By giving up this fight, while I know it won't always be easy, it will definitely be more rewarding and peaceful.


I'm gonna stand on a rooftop, climb up a mountaintop 


Baby, scream and shout 


I wanna sing it on the radio, show it on a video 


Baby, leave no doubt 
I want the whole world to know just what I'm all about


I love to love you out loud 


Which leads us to where the message rang SOO LOUD for me. A message in everyday life. A country song that isn't new. I do want to scream and shout my love for Jesus. My gratitude and thankfulness for a life that is full of love and wonderment. I want to love God out loud and share His holy name and his good works.


So that is what I'm doing this morning with this post. A piece of Internet history. 
Thank you Lord for putting me on this earth, for blessing me beyond my wildest imagination with a love that knows no bounds. Thank you for leading me to do Your work. Thanks for loving an imperfect me and allowing me to know that I am perfectly made in Your eyes.

Not My Day

The past 36 hours have been rough. I'm not going to lie. I've been cranky and crabby. I left my "zen" attitude somewhere and had a hard time finding where I left it.
People have been making me angry.

Do you find yourself in a similar situation?
Everything is trucking right along, you feel the wind might be in your sail, the road smoothed out in front of you, and then BAM! Pothole. Turbulent seas.

In these moments it is SO easy to let Satan win. To forget about all of the good in the world around you. To forget that you have the ultimate champion in your corner.

It is my experience, that when stuff isn't going my way, that when that bad day comes (as it always does), I forget how richly God has blessed me. I'm not even talking materialistic goods. I'm talking about appreciating the fact I woke up this morning. I'm standing on the right side of the grass. I'm blessed with two beautiful, though trying at time, girls who have amazing hearts. I'm part of a wonderfully supportive and connected family. God has blessed my grandparents with longevity which in turns blesses me and and my girls with a plethora of grandparents that are still physically present on this earth. And God blessed me with a husband who is an amazing provider, a man who gets me (most of the time), who pushes my buttons because he can.

When you look at all of that, it makes the trucker who stopped in the middle of the road and didn't use a  turn signal insignificant..

And maybe that is the point of this post.

Sometimes you just need to write out all the things you can be thankful for so you can see in black and white that it isn't as bad of a day as it seems.

Keep on keeping on.

The Beacon Outside My Office

I have had the experience of assisting a few individuals with a sensory awakening.  It wasn't something I planned. It wasn't something I had prior experience in.

But there is a beacon outside of my office that brings these people in the midst of crisis to my office.

This beacon is a light of welcome to these people in a world that is pummeling them energetically from all directions. Many of these people are just beginning to understand why they feel everything and are connecting the dots; they just don't know how to protect their self.

Cue the beacon. The beacon for newly discovered empaths that have absorbed too many emotions from other people.

Empaths are people with an extraordinary sensory ability to feel the emotions of other people. I assure you, this gift isn't always a welcome experience. It is one thing to feel the happiness and joy of others. It is quite another to feel overwhelming sadness, hurt, or anger of the people around you.

Many of the empaths that cross my door in a state of crisis tell me "I don't care what you do, just fix me." I then have to be the bearer of bad news and tell them "I can't fix you. BUT, I can help you fix yourself."

In my experience with empaths, the first step is to clear out the attached emotions of others. To assist the person with only having their feelings for a moment. Using reiki and crystals, I help bring a positive and pure white light of universal healing into the person in turmoil. I have also been known to smudge some sage over the person to assist in removing the negativity.

The next step is to begin teaching them how to energetically protect their self. Often, I recommend a good grounding crystal to begin with. Some people are tactile and need a physical object that they can use to protect their self. Similar to how a police office straps into a bulletproof vest, an empath straps on their black tourmaline to protect their self from negative energy.

Another technique I recommend is one that was taught to me to remove excess energy. I instruct them to hug a tree and ask the tree to remove any excess energy. To ask Mother Earth to absorb that which is not for their highest good. Now, many people express hesitance to hug a tree in the middle of their yard in front of God and everybody. For those people, I tell them even a cut piece of wood retains the ability to absorb that which you do not need. If you choose to utilize a cut piece of wood, I do not recommend burning that piece of wood in your house. It is my belief that you are then allowing that energy to permeate your home, which brings about a completely different level that can impact everyone in your home.

The other half of energetically protecting yourself that I teach people is to envision yourself in an energetic bubble. This shielding technique prevents the energy from others to attach and/or impact your self unless you allow it to. Now, this technique has a few more steps involved that I can't think of how to voice in written word as it varies from person to person. Some people are able to shield their self easily, others need further guidance and more specific instructions.

The final information I impart on new empaths is to remember, like any other new thing, you will have times you slip up. Days where you forget to shield yourself, moments where the negativity of others slips past your defenses and leech onto your energy field. The important part is to remember and focus on what emotions are yours and which belong to another.

As a side note, I believe this beacon exists at my office because God knew I would need the experience of assisting some adults and other people before I would be faced with the greater challenge of raising an empath. After a tumultuous period of time wrought with panic attacks and mayhem, I was able to piece together and recommend to one of my own children that perhaps the cause of the anxiety related to her absorbing the emotions of others. I could see the lightbulb click on in my daughter when I voiced those words. Seeing her gain the peace that comes from realizing that all of what an empath feels does not belong to them was an amazing experience for me. After such a long period of not knowing how to help my child, I finally was able to impart the wisdom that brought her peace. Praise be to the Lord Almighty for giving me the experience I needed to help her.

Raising an empath comes with a secondary level of information to pass on. I had to get into the ethical dilemma that comes from being able to sense the emotions of others. I also have to work hard to shield my own emotions from her. The last thing I want or need to do is add to the burden that comes with this gift.

A Stress Full Post

Stress is found everywhere in the environment in which you find yourself. Sometimes that environment includes living in your own mind and/or body. The quest to be better, to have more, to be as good as __ overtakes our person and before you realize it, you have lost yourself amongst the crap.

It is overwhelming to begin sorting through all the crud to try and find yourself. To find your calm in the storm of life.

There isn’t a magical formula that works for every person. My baggage looks different from yours. Yours looks different than the people around you. Yes, there are similarities. We may all have shirts in our luggage, but they aren’t the exact same.

How do you start to unpack your baggage so you can live a life without lugging stuff around everywhere you go? I can’t tell you exactly what you need to do. I can only tell you what I have done and what has worked for me.  I can tell you it isn’t an easy process and sometimes I still find myself carting my luggage around with me out of the blue. Enough introduction, lets get down to the nitty gritty.

The first step to stress-free living for me was to figure out the source of my stress. That sounds easy enough, right?  Wrong. In my quest for finding the cause, I had to evaluate a lot of different stressors. I had to examine them to see how much of the stressor was the actual thing and how much was my REACTION to the thing. How important was the thing? ACTUAL importance, not ASSUMED importance.

To continue with the luggage metaphor, was the red t-shirt really necessary for my quest? Sure, it was serviceable in that it had a purpose. But, if I left it behind somewhere, would I still be able to function?

One of the things I learned early in the process was that I put expectation on myself that I assigned as an expectation from another person.  That is a hard truth to come to. I had myself convinced that I had to keep the house very clean. That my husband EXPECTED a clean house and I was the one that needed to meet that expectation. In truth, my husband never said such a thing.  He doesn’t expect me to be the maid, to follow him sweeping up crumbs. It was an expectation and source of stress that I CREATED. That was a difficult pill to swallow. Here I am, losing my sanity and stressing the F OUT over a situation that I made myself live in.  Does that mean I live in filth and squalor these days? No. I have changed my expectation. I expect MYSELF to clean as my time and motivation allows. I have GIVEN MYSELF PERMISSION TO NOT BE PERFECT.

Can you think of a stress in your life that you have manifested?

I hear you, you want a more “fun,” more “relaxed,” easier technique to use to relieve stress.  One of the other things I started doing is meditating. 

Step 1: Forget what you expect meditation has to look like. 

I don’t sit with my legs crossed saying “ohm”.  A lot of the times when I meditate, I sit in my lawn chair or the zero gravity chair at my office (I love this chair most). Other times, I lay in bed or on my massage table.

Step 2: Close your eyes.

When you can’t see the mess around you and you can only see the backs of your eyelids/inside your head, it cuts out some of the distraction.

Step 3: Breathe.

It is amazing (and not in the good way) how many people do not use the full capacity they have to inhale oxygen.  When I say breathe as step 3, I mean REALLY breathe. Take a deep breath in, hold it a second and then slowly exhale. Exhale all of the air in your lungs.

Step 4: Focus.

Focus on your breath. FEEL the oxygen enter your lungs. FEEL the carbon dioxide leave your lungs. Don’t dissect every little noise. Just feel. Feel your breath, your heartbeat, and how your body feels on the surface you are on. Focus on things that don’t have to change.

Step 4a: Let it go.

Yes, I just quoted Elsa. Seriously, as you start this process, your over-active brain is going to go nuts. As thoughts pop in your brain, acknowledge them and set them aside.  By acknowledging, you are validating your thoughts. By letting them go, you are GIVING YOURSELF PERMISSION to take time for you.

Example: Yes, I know laundry needs to be done, but not right this second. Yes, chicken sounds good for dinner tomorrow, but right now is for me to relax. Yes, little Timmy starts basketball in three months, but that isn’t right now.

Step 5: Find what works for you.

Ignore all of these steps if that doesn’t work for you. I have guided meditations that I do sometimes because there are days where I CAN NOT SHUT MY THOUGHTS OFF.  I can’t get to that point where I can feel the layers melt away. My brain starts focusing on the process and what comes next. When this starts to happen, I Google “Quick and Easy Meditations” and pick what looks best. (Sometimes I Google for a specific type of meditation, but I digress.)

Another technique I use that ties into meditation is visualization. I have a physical place that brings me instant calm and peace. (Piasa Creek if you are interested in knowing.) The place is filled with an abundance of good memories. When I can’t physically get there, I go there mentally.  I close my eyes and visualize standing on the boat ramp, a light breeze blowing through my hair. I can smell the creek, I can feel the sun on my skin, I can hear the birds and nature sounds, and I see my dad standing next to 

me with his boat.

Basically, I focus on ALL of the different senses I can that I associate with that place. The more real I can visualize it, the more real it is. The more real it is, the more comfort I feel.

The most important thing is to find what works for you. Don’t create more stress. You will find something that works for you. 

I have faith you will find your baggage check.

Christianity and the Metaphysical and Energetic Realms- The Final Chapter

Thanks for following along with my story. I really felt led to share my thoughts and my path with the world. Even if that world is only me.
I am appreciative of the friend and client that put the bug in my brain to start writing. Writing is a medium I struggle with because many times I feel the words are not indicative of my true self or they don't sound right when I read through them.  Probably the reason I have not read through the entirety of my writing of this series until after it has been published, if even then.

Time to tie this all up and address the first word in the title of this series of posts. Christianity.

I grew up attending church pretty regularly. Most of my church experience is in the Catholic and Lutheran religion. Pretty strict, regimented forms, but I like the tradition of it all. Due to the inconvenience of driving 30 minutes to attend the Lutheran church I prefer in this area, I started attending some local non-denominational churches. Many times when I am there, the music and sermon speak directly to my soul on issues I'm struggling with.

God, religion, and church have been my refuge when I'm struggling with life. Sadly, when I'm a mess is when my attendance is best.
Funny how that works. I know God loves me, even when I'm messy. One of these days I will realize that if I put God first, not Erin, the messy life won't be so messy.

But I digress.

ALL of the parts of my story have fit together because of God. (I was going to put fate, whatever supreme being you place your belief in, but I realized this is my story. So I'm going to use the words that fit best for me.)

I believe God has blessed me with the talents I have, has led me to take the trainings I have participated in, and placed me in the locations I have been at because He KNEW I would need them to do His work and help heal others.

I believe in the work that I do because I have seen how it has helped me. How it has helped my clients. How it has formed relationships with others. Yes, at times I have questioned if this fits into my religious life and I remember how the pieces fell together effortlessly on me going to some of these trainings. I remember clients who came into my space in a state of brokenness and how the work helped them gain footing and start putting their pieces back together.

I have seen the benefit that crystal healing has done. A client came in with gallbladder issues (and others). They didn't come in for crystal work, just a normal massage. When I heard about the gallbladder issue, I asked if I could place a crystal there while I did the rest of the massage. Months later, this client still tells me how they haven't had issues since.

I have seen and felt the emotional release that came with energy work. Tears have flowed freely on my table as a client released old emotions and finally started feeling more at peace with their self.

I couldn't have done ANY of this if it was not God's will for it to happen. I'm not normally a 'bible thumper' per se, but I have felt God's guidance and presence in different sessions. I have found solutions to client issues when I was focused on other things. I have stumbled across trainings that I had never thought about taking.

And often, especially after sessions where big things have occurred, I find myself seeing how everything fit together.

I remind my daughter all the time that some of the people God used for greatness were some of the biggest sinners. The Lord knows I'm not perfect, that I am messy (inside and out), and still LOVES me. God is ALWAYS there even when I'm not sitting in church every week.

God made heaven and earth. God made crystals. God made energy. God made me. Through Him, all things are possible.

Christianity and the Metaphysical and Energetic Realms-Part 4

The fourth installment in this series moves into a much more recent time frame. 

This installment starts putting it all together. 

Mediums. Another dip into the metaphysical realm. Another area that doesn't didn't jive with my Christian upbringing. Another area that sped me down the path I am currently on.

My first brush with a medium was shortly after my dad passed. I was getting a massage in a neighboring town from a therapist who is also a medium. During the massage, she saw my goose tattoo (the one I got for my dad) and asked if I had lost him recently. The conversation that followed had me exploring new areas, awakened a new knowledge, and (with the help of a few other situations with other people) a new awareness of the world around me. Apparently, my dad had been hanging around the medium (and he wasn't one of her normal spirits hanging about), not saying anything but making feathers fall on her and then laughing about it. 

Now, if you know/knew my dad, you also know this is something he would have done. The information she passed on to me was a bit of a balm on my very shattered heart. The period of time that followed, I had some other interesting occurrences with the spirit realm. A client of mine that had a heaven visit brought a spiritual attachment back. This was one of the first times, I started to utilize my gift of sensing when spirits are present. 

This gift and the knowledge of it is still extremely new to me. To be honest, I tend to shield myself from it a lot and only access when I can't ignore it or when it is needed for healing. I still have a lot of questions about it and there is a lot I don't understand about it as well. Plus, there are ethical considerations to include as well. But again, I'm jumping ahead and skipping parts of the story.

Previously, I used the word "mediums," the plural form. This story involves a second medium, an actual session with a  medium that really opened some gates. I'm still rounding up all the pieces and seeing what I have from that as well. A local was hosting a medium that I had heard MANY good things about. I have friends and clients that have had very successful sessions with this medium. So, I sent a message to see about scheduling a session. Unfortunately, I didn't hear back and I took that sign as it just wasn't the right time.  However, it was more a lesson in patience. The week of the event, I did receive a message in return.  A spot had opened up, I didn't have any other plans, so I leaped at the opportunity. 

The session was interesting to say the very least. Issues (as I call them) were brought up and a solution presented for problems (again, as I call them) that I had never voiced aloud. The biggest was were does this skill to feel others physical/emotional pain come from. I was informed on what lineage it is in which came as a surprise. It isn't my story to tell, this person actually kept it to their self when they were alive, but I did pass the message on to the family members that needed it. One of the other messages that came through this session for me was to show myself some compassion. The medium hit the nail on the head with the message that I let others slide in areas I beat myself up in. I'm definitely still working on this, but I have noticed a vast improvement in my daily life since I started focusing on this more.  

Oh, that extrasensory skill I mentioned? You want/need to know more? 

Many of you know I'm a massage therapist and some of you have been on the receiving end of my massages. Some of my skills have been polished through continuing education, many have been brought to life in continuing education. One of the reasons I am the therapist I am is because I have learned to listen to the body. When I drop my shields (self-preservation) and scan, I can pinpoint areas of pain. During a session, especially when doing energy work, I can find areas of emotional pain and trauma. Please note, I do not access the hidden realm of a person's being without their permission. Many of my clients will tell you that they do not come into my office with the intention of sharing as much as they do.  The words just start to fall out.  Most of the time, voicing the words is what they needed in order to start healing that wound. 

It isn't easy to be able to feel as much as I do, hence the shielding. I am thankful for my massage training for teaching me how to not take on other's issues as my own. Sometimes I mess up and take other's crud, but I normally notice it before it gets too much and remove/dispel myself of the extra baggage. I'm thankful for the skillset I have been blessed with and have developed over the years. The path hasn't always been easy, nor have I always been at peace with the path, but the outcome has been worth the bumps and bruises.

I hear you, when does Christianity come in? The next, and final installment my dear reader. Christianity will be at the forefront of that post.